Kate's Lament
by Gordon Pasha
Summary: After she announces her love for Humphrey, Kate witnesses the two packs go to war. What goes through her mind as all of her worst fears are realized? She wonders whether she made the right choice. Did she fail the pack? Or is love worth fighting for? In a single defining moment, the measure of an individual is often revealed. In this instant, Kate's true character is made clear.


**Not so much a story as a look inside Kate's mind after the wedding fell apart and the packs started to fight. It is about all the conflicting emotions going through her head as she wonders whether standing up for love was worth risking the survival of both packs. **

**The movie Alpha and Omega, it's plot and characters, are copyright of Lionsgate and Crest Animation Studios, etc., etc.**

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War. That's a horrifying thought, war. Everything my parents had done, everything their parents had done, and every leader of the Western Pack before them, had been to ensure that two packs could live in the valley in peace without needing to resort to war. Everybody knew – well, everybody except for a few troublemakers – that if the Eastern and Western Packs ever came to war, that it would destroy them both. There probably wouldn't even be enough survivors to carry on or form a new pack. Everyone would be wiped out.

And what about me? I was raised to hate the idea of our two packs ever coming to war. Raised to believe that it was my duty as the future leader of our pack to make sure that peace would prevail, so that the next generation and generations to come would still have a valley were they could live happily and safely. Nothing could be allowed to destroy our home; we as Alphas have to do anything to protect it.

My dad was the one who came up with the idea of uniting the packs by me marrying Garth, the next leader of the Eastern Pack. I actually like the idea of uniting the packs. It would mean no more war, no more threat of war, everybody working together for the good of the pack! And I could be the one to do it, the one to do what no other Alpha has ever done, bring permanent peace to the valley, just by getting married!

Yeah, that's where the trouble started. I was perfectly willing to get married to Garth or whoever else my parents chose for me. Nothing wrong with it if it will unite the packs. I mean, I don't have any other purpose in life, do I? Sure, me and Garth may not have exactly hit it off, but that's something that we might have been able to overcome in time. We would have to, for the good of the pack!

Either that or we'd just never actually talk to each other. It's not like you have to be in love to be married, right?

But then I got kidnapped by humans, along with Humphrey. Humphrey was my best friend from the days before we were Alphas and Omegas. That couldn't last once I went off to Alpha School, since now I had more important duties than playing with silly Omegas. Humphrey had always had something of a crush on me, and I knew he still did after I got back. But I pretended not to notice because Alphas and Omegas can never be together. It just isn't right!

But then, what did I go and do? I fell in love with an Omega! That's not wholly true. I think I was always in love with Humphrey, but I just refused to admit it. I didn't even know how I felt until I actually was about to marry Garth. And then I ruined everything!

I vowed that I'd let nothing stop me from getting back to Jasper in time to avert the war. I was an Alpha, and I was trained to overcome any obstacle. But then, I wouldn't have gotten back without Humphrey to help me. And I began to see him as more than an Omega, as someone who was actually just as courageous and competent as me, even if in a different way. We complemented each other and we made a very good team. It was like each of us needed the other, we weren't whole unless we were together, both of us contributing in our own way to a shared goal. And I was actually happy with that.

But I could never stop worrying about what would happen to my pack, to both packs, if I didn't make it back to Jasper in time. I knew that if we were even a few hours late, there would be no pack to come home to. And then it would be all my fault for not getting there in time, for failing to be everything an Alpha should be.

And that was what ran through my mind every time I lay down to sleep. And on one occasion, as I slept, I dreamt that I stood in the middle of the valley, with all the wolves of both packs fighting around me. And it was horrible. It was the annihilation of both packs, of everybody I cared about and loved. It was everything that I had been taught to hate and even fear, at least as much as an Alpha is allowed to fear anything. I saw wolves biting and pouncing, tearing each other apart, sometimes not even knowing if they were attacking foes or friends. And all because I had failed in my duties. All because I couldn't find a way to stop it. I had caused the destruction of my own pack and the Eastern pack. It was the end of the world.

But I made it back in time. I saved the packs from war. I agreed to marry Garth. I did everything right. And everybody was happy at last. Peace at last, justice at last. No more fighting, no more suspicion. Just friendship and… love? No, not love. I certainly didn't love Garth, but maybe the packs could have learned to love each other. Maybe we could have finally put all of this behind us and moved on to a better way of living.

And now here I stand, right in the middle of my nightmare. I've never believed that dreams had the power of prophecy or anything. I don't think much of the superstitions that the Omegas like to believe in. I've got real duties and responsibilities to worry about without getting into any of that. And yet, here I am, standing in the middle of a dream come true. Only this dream is a nightmare. Everything that I saw, everything that frightened me, the most terrible war of all, it's all become real.

And it's all my fault! But that's not even the worst thing. The worst thing is that it's not even because I didn't get back in time, or because I just couldn't stop the packs from fighting. No, I chose this, I chose war over peace and destruction over life. All because I fell in love with an Omega. If I had just been willing to marry Garth, none of this would have ever happened. But I couldn't forget my love for Humphrey. After everything I've been trained for, everything I've been prepared for, all that I know and all that I hoped, that feeling of love ultimately overruled everything else.

What type of an Alpha am I? What type of Alpha chooses to destroy her pack over saving it? What kind of Alpha would actually choose not to protect her pack, let her feelings for one wolf overcome her duty to all, betray her own family and their hopes and dreams? I failed. I'm a failure. And it's all by my own choice. Maybe I was never cut out to be an Alpha. Maybe I should just never have fallen in love in the first place.

Is this what love brings? War, death, destruction? Then maybe I don't want any part of love! Oh, but I had wanted this. I must have, mustn't I, if I didn't go through with the marriage that I knew would save both packs? I must have wanted to kill everybody, destroy everything. That's the only thing that makes sense to me now. How else do you explain it?

Mom and dad are probably too old to take on the younger wolves of the Eastern Pack. Lilly, I know she'll never be able to defend herself. They're all doomed. All because of me. No winners in this war. Everybody loses. Everybody dies. And all because of me, Kate, the destroyer of packs, the killer of all wolves. What is wrong with me? How could I have failed the whole pack like this?

And then suddenly, I hear a threatening noise, soft at first but increasingly loud, almost like thunder. And I know it instinctively; caribou stampede! I should have known this would happen too! It's not like I didn't get a taste of that danger on my first hunt. But it was another thing I completely ignored for the sake of love, just like I ignored the good and the union of the packs. Now I'll have managed to destroy the two packs both internally and externally. To cause this much damage, to turn the caribou – the ones we're supposed to kill – into the ones killing us, that must make me the worst Alpha in existence. And now there's no going back. This really is the end of the world.

At least I can take comfort in the fact that Humphrey's safe… There I go again, thinking about him when I should be thinking about the pack! Why, after all the chaos and destruction I've caused, don't I learn anything? Why hasn't my heart figured out that this is wrong. _This is wrong!_

Then why does my heart keep saying _this is right?_ Something inside me won't let me say that I should have gotten married, that I should have avoided all this. But I betrayed my duty to the pack! But now am I betraying my duty to Humphrey?

Maybe I should just have given up on him and on love a long time ago, like a proper Alpha should.

No! Humphrey showed me something different, something better. Something better? Better than honor and duty?

No, better than this system of Alphas and Omegas. With him, it didn't matter where we belonged in the pack, all that mattered was who we were and that we loved each other. And this marriage, this sham marriage, drove him away forever! What type of pack even lets that happen? The pack failed Humphrey, failed to recognize the sort of wolf he really was; an individual and not just an Omega.

Who even says that that law was right in the first place? Why shouldn't Alphas and Omegas be allowed to mate? Shouldn't the character of the individual wolf be more important than these silly distinctions? So what if Alphas are hunters and Omegas are peacekeepers? That just means that we need both of them, not that there's something wrong with either one! Maybe if one of these Alphas, mom or dad or Tony, had been married to an Omega, they wouldn't be so quick to resort to war. Maybe that's the real cause of all this, the fact that we treat Alphas and Omegas so differently.

That's got to be it! A pack that can't treat all of its members equally can never be a pack with any sort of justice. We'd just end up warring with ourselves over something or other, because we don't want to listen to somebody who might have a different idea. If there is ever going to be real peace, if the packs are ever going to really be united, we've got to make sure that everybody gets a fair deal.

And Alphas and Omegas should be allowed to marry. Even the future heads of the packs should be allowed to marry if they choose to. That way, Garth could marry Lilly and I could marry Humphrey!

If we get out of this without completely getting annihilated, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make it okay for Alphas and Omegas to be who they are and to get married. I have had enough of unfairness. This isn't duty or honor or justice driving this system, but just bias and ignorance. And it has to change! Time to be a real Alpha and lead the United Pack to a better, more equal way of living.

What do I mean if? When is more like it! I am the greatest Alpha ever, after all! And I am going to protect my pack no matter what happens! And then I'm going to find Humphrey and bring him back so that we can lead the pack together. Whatever it takes, I'll find him and I'll fix all the problems which I – no, which this system – caused in the first place!

I'm proud to be an Alpha and I'm equally proud to be in love with an Omega! There's no going back now! Time to save my pack once and for all! It's a new day in Jasper Park!


End file.
